Savannah James has the internet up in arms because she flies first class while her best friend, April McDaniel, flies business when they go on trips together. We know this information because the Everybody’s Crazy co-hosts were guests on Boardroom’s Mental Wealth this week, and co-host Jack Ally asked how money impacts their friendship. McDaniel, who is the founder of creative agency Crown & Conquer, explained that she and James acknowledge their lifestyle differences and move accordingly. 

“We talk about this a lot because there’s two different lifestyles that exist,” McDaniel began. “Like we’re not delusional to that. And I think Savannah has accommodated where I’m at.” 

McDaniel also added that they plan trips in advance rather than flying on a whim like people may assume. 

“If we’re going on the same trip, I don’t feel the need to be in first [class] because that’s not in my budget,” McDaniel added. But James does.

This comment, in particular, is what ruffled feathers. Social media users are now online debating how generous you should be if you’re in a different socio-economic class than your best friend. Critics feel James isn’t necessarily being a good friend because she has the means to help put McDaniel in first class alongside her and chooses not to. In addition to having a few businesses, James’s husband, LeBron, is a billionaire.

I think conversations around entitlement and expectations when you’re the wealthier friend are necessary, but there’s a broader conversation we are missing. That’s one around money values and how that can impact financial compatibility within friendships. There are eternal debates online about financial compatibility within romantic relationships, but how often do we talk about what that looks like between friends?

Money values are essentially core beliefs and principles that shape how you view and use money. Examples include generosity, legacy, education, freedom, sustainability, and security. Another example is that one person may value generosity and living for today, so they give freely, while another values financial security and being tightfisted with their funds.

Your money values can be influenced by a myriad of things—one’s socio-economic class growing up, trauma, how your parents managed money, or knowledge you’ve gathered over time, for instance. Ultimately, those values determine whether you pay for a friend to sit in first class with you or let them fly business instead because it’s within their budget. We can argue endlessly about whether James’s financial beliefs around this topic are right or wrong, but ultimately, it doesn’t matter. Why? Because for the most part, values are subjective. And more importantly, in this instance, her money values align with McDaniel’s, and it isn’t creating a rift in their friendship. James doesn’t feel obligated to put her friend in first class. McDaniel doesn’t feel entitled to it. 

Problems arise when friends aren’t financially compatible, and they have conflicting beliefs about money. You’ve probably experienced it at some point: the friend who wants to split dinner down to the cent while you’re more of the generous type. Or faced it with the friend who expects you to cover the tab every time you go out because you’re “big money.” Meanwhile, they never offer to cover any expenses when you’re together. Everyone views money differently, and sometimes, those differences can be a source of conflict in friendships. I think this trending topic is an opportunity to start conversations with our friends about financial expectations and beliefs. Anything unspoken is assumed, and we all know assumptions can lead to unhealthy conflict and resentment. 

More food for thought: even if you’re financially incompatible, it doesn’t mean the entire friendship isn’t valuable. A friend may not be generous with money. They may, however, be generous with time, kindness, compassion, and other non-financial resources. 

These two besties are showing us what aligned financial values and compatibility can look like within friendship. I think they have a healthy dynamic characterized by open communication and respect for one another’s money values. Whatever your opinion on where they sit on a plane, that’s something we can all take from.

Author: Elizabeth Ayoola

Read the original article on Essence.