The kids are heading back to school! A new school year can bring anticipation, excitement and even joy. But this time of year may also cause nervousness, uncertainty and anxiety. From wondering “Will I make new friends?” navigating new classmates, new teachers and academic pressures, young people can enter the school year carrying challenges they might not know how to express. Parents and caregivers are often left feeling anxious during this time of year as well.

Dr. Patricia Dixon, a licensed clinical psychologist, professor and speaker who has worked in mental health field since 2003 believes one of the most important things parents can do is create space for their children to actually talk about these types of fears. As she puts it, “The best thing you can do for your child about their anxiety may also be the easiest: Ask them what insecurities they’re dealing with about the new school year.”

PARENTS, TRUST THE SEEDS YOU HAVE PLANTED.

Parents worry about their child’s ability to be successful academically and socially: not only whether they’ll make friends, but whether those friends will be a positive influence in their child’s life. All that anxiety is attached to the uncertainty of what comes next.

I remind parents about when they were teaching their child to walk. There was anxiety about them falling, but there was also a need to release them to try, and to cheer them on with every step. When we keep that same mindset throughout our children’s lives, we can feel the anxiety and the fear and still encourage them to keep taking the steps.

MONITOR THEIR TECHNOLOGY.

Parents and caregivers have new hurdles to jump this year compared to past generations. Technology and social media especially have allowed for new distractions and exposure.

Here are some easy ways for parents to act:

– Manage phones with a control app. Aura, Norton Family, and Qustodio are a few options that allow you to restrict certain features and overall screen time.

– Establish a drop-off point. Dinner time or before bed can be designated phone drop-off zones.

– Educate your child on potential dangers. This includes responsible usage, knowing what content is appropriate for their age, and understanding what information is safe to share.

FEEL ALL OF THE FEELS.

One of the greatest gifts we can give kids is the ability to label their emotions. Helping children identify what they’re feeling, and what those feelings are attached to empowers them to make decisions about what they want to do with those emotions. I tend to think of emotions as a compass: they alert us that we need to walk in a particular direction. It’s important for parents not only to celebrate their kids’ wins, but to help their kids learn to celebrate themselves. Help them see the things they were once discouraged about and somehow achieved, accomplished, or overcame as something worth celebrating.

When guiding our children through academics and extra-curricular activities, moderation is key. We want them to take advantage of every opportunity available to them, but when they’re over-scheduled it be causes stress which isn’t beneficial to anyone. That wasn’t the point of signing them up for activities, the hope was to expose them to things they’ll enjoy and grow from.

When talking with your kids about how they’re feeling with their schedule, keep moderation in mind. Allow room for your kids to choose some of the activities they want to participate in. Encourage your child to pick something they really enjoy and can focus on for the entire school year rather than starting something new every few months. 

GIVE YOURSELF CREDIT!

Childrearing is difficult. The anxiety that most parents feel can be summed up with one question: Am I doing everything I could be doing for my child? And that question is where they should be placing the credit. Parents worry about these things because they love their children and want what’s best for them. If they didn’t ask that question, their kids would lose out.

Parents deserve credit for all the sacrifices they make to give their children the best opportunities they can. They want their kids to thrive in life and will go to great lengths to open doors for them. But what they don’t realize is that their children are watching them walk through those very doors right in front of their eyes. By living their lives how they are, parents are setting the footprints their children will follow.

Author: Bridgette Bartlett Royall

Read the original article on Essence.